The beauty of it all

I apologize that I have not posted an update or blog post lately! Life has been a little crazy lately. I want to thank everyone who came out last Sunday for the benefit concert!!! It was incredible and overwhelming to have so many of the people that have been there for me since the beginning in one room, hanging out and listening to good music. For those of you who were unable to attend, you were missed! Love you all and I am so unbelievably blessed that you have chosen to be a part of my journey.

As far as fundraising goes I was able to raise about $450!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!! For your financial support and prayers.

 My grand total right now is $2,481 and I need $4,798. 

I have about $2,317 left to raise and I am hoping to leave by approximately January 26th. 

I believe that if it is God's will for me to raise this money and send me to Kenya that He will provide. Although it is hard for me to say this, well type, I must be honest that I have been wrapped in confusion lately. Being a faithful Christian in such a broken and lost world is something that I have struggled with for a long time. I think that it is safe to say that everyone has struggled with this to some extent. Recently, I have struggled with trusting in God and trusting that His timing is beyond perfect. Now I have only lived 19 short years, but I can easily say that this past one has been the hardest. I feel as though I have been under spiritual attack. My confusion comes into play when I question whether it is actually a spiritual attack from Satan or God is telling me that now is not my time to go to Kenya. Satan only tells lies that are almost true, and many times I have been a fallen victim to these lies. All I can do is pray, pray, pray and pray some more.

The beauty of it all: Despite this mess and confusion, through the power of God I have been able to find a peculiar sense of peace that I can’t fully explain. Through these past few weeks He has planted a seed of joy in the deep, dark cavity of my heart that has allowed me to feel suffocated by His love and grace during this time. I have felt more blessed over this past year than I have felt ever. Where ever I am and where ever I go, He is there. I am learning to tackle life one day at a time.

I wish I had the words to express how thankful I am for those of you that have been there for me over the past few weeks and for those of you who have stuck by me through all the past year of craziness. I would not be who I am today if it were not for those of you that love me, encourage me and support me. My eyes fill with tears when I think about how much you all mean to me.

I love you all and hope you have an awesome weekend. You deserve it.